Advice on My Scenario Pt 12-Less Talk More Action

[OrangeK]

Well thank you all. I rallied pretty easy this time.
A.) shouldnt have looked in the first place. last darn time i do that.

B.) Its speculative. Could be nothing. could be bait. could be legit.

C.) If she does have a child / marry OM, it will actually help my sitch in a way. It wouldnt look good, plus i might have my child support dropped if they are sharing income.

D.) I did a better job managing today. I Recognized myself spinning out, i took a long and early lunch. Went home, beat the piss out of my heavy bag, drove back to work with some musical therapy, and am feeling better now than i did when i woke up.

It really is about ME. What she does, doesnt do, or pretends to do doesnt really matter.
Do I miss and love the woman she was with me, Yes.

DO i wish our M never broke down and we had a normal happy life. Of Course I do.

Will I always love her? Yea, probably to a degree.

Do I hope she gets help to solve her issues? Yes totally.
Maybe one day I can even be there for therapy if she asks for my help in her recovery.

Do i think she will? Not anytime soon. It would take a MAJOR loss and some real hard Rock Bottom. Maybe. I really hope.

Can I still be "Loving" through NC by just being a solid Dad?
Yes

Will S3 be ok? As long as i make sure he is. Priority #1

Do I forgive her? No, not yet. I will get there after i can be apathetic about it. I want to eventually be able to co parent nicely. That will take time though

Will I move on and love someone else eventually? 100%

Will I ever be happy again? Hell Yes.

Is there silver linings here? Yes. I am becoming a better man. My son will have a stronger Dad.

Could i have been a BETTER husband? Yes, i see plenty of spaces for improvement.

Do you know your GAL goals? I do. Its game time.

Ive said it before, and been wrong, but i feel a turning point coming. a good one.
We'll see if I can really put my head high and pull this off this time. Its summer time, no more screwing around with this.