My apologies to react to something from what appears to be seven months or so ago. But Painful made an assumption about it being easier if there is no OM involved and I just want to say that I have seen a turn around with OM still involved (at least emotionally) so we need to not assume that everyone has the same situation.
What appears to me is what helped B as it helped me is that we both seemed to have looked for things we needed to change about ourselves. And perhaps the other overlap is that are W wanted to wait for changes. If I remember correctly reading older threads when I was going through my stuff was that some folks had real resentment and anger towards their W for having OM. That resentment is understandable but it seems to delay/make impossible any reconciliation.
DR to me is that this is a marathon and not a race and if you treat it as a marathon it might actually be a much quicker turnaround but it is all so very dependent on specifics. My W drove to work. We lived together. She agreed to MC (after I rejected that idea for years).
