And still struggling 2

[Jim1234]

Jim,

can you hire a CPA or do the research yourself to see what marital money went into her home?

Can you take the bull by the horns and handle this yourself?

If not, then I'd seek counsel about how to move things forward NOT b/c you want a divorce

but b/c she IS dragging this out - probably b/c she benefits from the status quo.


(shrugs) Too bad it's lousy for you.

So, If she's harboring doubts about the divorce - but won't tell you she wants a recon, or move towards one, does it matter IF she has internal, doubts, that remain unexpressed? Wouldn't you need more from her to truly reconcile? (& - trust me, a meaningful reconciliation would require more from her in order to last...)

So

What is it YOU CAN control in this situation? Okay then.

Time to exercise choice, and take steps out of limbo. That may wake her up, but either way at least you won't feel so paralyzed due to someone else's choices.

It is soul sucking to have that.

Keep posting

You are right about all this, 25. It is soul sucking and completely leaves me at the mercy of her choices. And if she wants to reconcile, she needs to do the work, and she's shown no inclination of that.

As I mention above, it's not really a matter for CPA's, and to move it forward, if she won't come up with a number, I'll lowball it just to move the process forward.