Afraid of the dark PART 3

[Ste7e]

I know the lighthouse story but not picnic at the lighthouse exactly

[Vanilla]

picnic at the lighthouse

V

[Ste7e]

Thanks

[Ste7e]

Man oh man feeling down and drained tonight
It is funny how much my emotional state has an equal and opposite reaction
Was pretty up most of the day and then pow down
Runnning on little sleep today also always a negative factor need to be more proactive about getting enough sleep

[Jim1234]

That all said my spirits have been really high all week, I have cried a few times when emotions have hit (I nee dto not suppress them according to IC) but bounced back immediately.

Steve, you are going to have ups and downs. Someone on here said the progression is not linear. Two steps forward, one back. You're human. I bet every single one of us on this board has cried. Many times I've been crying as I typed. Just don't do it in front of her.

And it's amazing how a good night's sleep will make things look much brighter in the morning.

[Ste7e]

So I am leaving tomorrow morning to LA for a month to work and write with a friend
Texted W to let her know she will need to care of the pets while I am gone
I got a liked thumbs up text in response
Not the response I was hoping for but happy it wasnt a negative one
Very anxious and nervous about my trip
I hope it will do me good
Been feeling sort of down the past couple days dealing with acceptance
It has been 3 and half months since BD and it all hurts more with time

[Davide]

Nice. That sounds awesome. You not only get to put some distance between you but a) you're going to an awesome city b) you have a project to work on and c) you're going to be there with a friend. That sounds like the perfect recipe for detachment. Enjoy it!!!

[Vanilla]

Have a wonderful time!

Would love a report from time to time.

V

[Davide]

Ste7e,

How is it going? Hope all is well!

[Ste7e]

Just popping in for a report.
Things are going extremely well! I love LA and I have slipped into a great routine out here over the last week.
Would love to be able to move out here but I do still own a house back home and the logistics just don't fully make sense yet.
I have been doing a great job of GAL and I have had very little anxiety at all which is amazing!
WAW texted me when I first got here to let me know she had made contact with my pet sitter. Turns out she is having him stay at the house the entire time I am gone not just when she is also gone out of town. Needless to say I was pissed about this as it was her sherking her responsabilities but I didn't take the bait and just left it alone. I texted her back about the Chickens where I am staying. She finally texted me back 6 days later about her getting a Chicken also! Weird...I replied with a one sentence response about how it was cute and left it at that.

Detachment has been really good and I have been really digging deep on "Who am I" and working through some answers for my own life. Truth be told at this point I don't want to ever go home and would have to really question even if she wanted to Rec. I still love her but I also had become really dissatisified with my own life.