I think that your instinct is correct regarding communication. IC is focused on your well being. They don't understand DB. Who knows if W would even abide by it? Healthier for whom?
IMO, part of what "no pursuit" accomplishes is it peaks curiosity. Adds a sense of mystery. This coupled with GAL will only help to change the power dynamic and restore your self-esteem. How's that for healthier? You could ask that she save up transactional communication that isn't urgent but be prepared for her to violate it. If it's not an emergency, you don't have to respond right away.
As for Instagram, I would post away. If she draws the conclusion that you are enjoying yourself, all the better.
As for the handling of the goodbye? That's up to you. If you can rehearse it in your head and feel quite sure that you can carry it off, go for it. If not, don't do it. If it causes too much anxiety, decide not to do it and be done.
M 53 W 54, M since 98 D15, D19 8/2013 discovered EA, W maintained contact with OM until 10/14 7/2/17 W said she wanted S, 7/25/17 moved out of MBR 12/17 W says moving out 5/18, W still in home.
