Hello, I'm new here. :)

[Jlh]

Jlh,

Is your husband still actively engaged in an affair?

I'm sorry Doodler, I didn't see your question earlier. I'm not sure about the affair woman right now since he never talks about it with me, but he DID tell me a few nights ago that he is changing phone numbers and getting rid of his old number. He says its for work reasons


but I don't know anyone who ditches numbers for new ones for work, he's never done that before and he's had many work phones in the past.

I'm so sorry you are here. But re changing the phone - it's one significant marker of an affair and I fear You already know this, Deep down.

He told me that he's give me the new number as soon as he gets the new one which I will need anyway for emergency contact for our son.

Yes, you will get the new number so he can tell himself he's doing well as a dad...

Have you seen a lawyer? You can talk to one without retaining them and knowledge is power.

I say this in part b/c you may not have an accurate picture of your rights and the finances.

Also, I don't want to project my situation onto yours, but do want others to benefit from my experience.

I would NEVER have imagined the things my now x did, up until i was actively IN the divorce process and discovering things.

X took all the money out of our joint accounts, blocked me from one, and took off when I had just gotten out of the hospital for a sudden neurological event.

At first I thought his behavior was fear of having to care for me and then SHAME about that but in time I can see now that 1) I was projecting how I would feel if I had done what he did,

and 2) that he is NOT me. X has rationalized every single betrayal and crappy choice He makes...and blames ME for everything, including his horrible r's with our 3 kids. I have not ever seen a letter to adult kids that had less insight in it. In fact, he doubled down on his narrative of blame others/x is the victim of an ungrateful family when he " bled" for us...(note the Christ like self reference).

It's the product of disordered thinking. I don't know and no longer care why he has a personality disorder but I do know I cannot fix it. And I thank God I have a solid T who helps me detach from the lunacy.

So, please Watch the money and see a Lawyer, asap.

Your h may well be confused, but a part of him is busy making plans.

Protect yourself and your son.

Well I know he has a work phone strictly for his work and he's had his personal phone number for as long as I can remember which everyone friends and family knows he has. I'm just having a hard time picturing him ditching the personal number to create a new one out of the blue. I'm not sure what the deal is. Some good friends I mentioned this too all immediately figured he was trying to move on from his OW.

I do have a lawyer I will be consulting for info and suggestions though, yes.