Arsh - yeh GAL'ing is still flowing. It's slowed down a little lately, but it ebbs and flows. It will take some time, but at least you have some concrete steps to take.
Davide - I've also bookmarked Benito's thread lol. There is a lot of good stuff in there. The stark truth is way better for me than meandering around. No help is on the way. Let's pick up the pieces and see what we can make now.
Thanks for the kind words. My DB journey has had its ups and downs, but at least through it I figured out what I want in my life and a romantic relationship.
I am still working on detachment and sometimes small things happen that make me realize, I am not as detached as I think I am. In the moments when I feel less detached and my mind starts gravitating towards some fantasy of being with W, I slap myself out of that by reminding myself exactly why I wouldn't take her back AS IS right now, even if she came begging.
She texted me something about kids next year and how we'll handle the schedule. For a nanosecond, I got a pang in my heart because she wasn't thinking about recon. But as soon as that hit, I reminded myself that I am not taking her back any ways and that if she wanted to come back, there is a helluva lotta stuff that needs to happen.
Long point short - I am not out of the woods yet. But, it gets better every single day. And my success is not based on whether we recon or not.
Yeah self-talk is key. I improved mine significantly and not only do you change how you think about yourself, people can actually see that in your demeanour and confidence. You'll get there. Time + consistent action will get you there.
