Quote:
I'm wondering if she...


Quote:
I just wish that she...


Please work on interrupting thoughts that start as the above. They do not lead to anything good.

Quote:
Now I feel like I'm doing the right thing...but at what cost?


You are trying to do what is best for your son. that that is great. Not sure what costs you are talking about, but they seem imaginary to me. I think you need more time to detach.