I'm supposed to be polite, respectful, and positive, and simultaneously give no @#$^& about what she's doing?
It is quite confusing, but... imagine that you talk to a stranger (like me) when you actually talk to her. If I tell you that I have problems, will you give me unsolicited advice? Will you ask me why I need a babysitter, and where I am going tonight?
This is the hard part about detaching. You have to respect her decision to split, enough to treat her politely as if she is a remote acquaintance.
On the other hand, you can enforce the same to her. "Where are you? Atlantic City Who is with you? Friends. What are you doing there? Stuff." That way, she will understand what it means for her to detach from you.
In an earlier post you said:
Quote:
I'm keeping my son all weekend. That always makes me anxious because she has a lot of free time when she's not working. BUT...I'm doing everything I can to just not think about it.
It is a torture. I know. However, you need (mainly for your son's sake and for your own sake) to focus to being his father above everything else. If she chooses to go out with guys when you are with him, that is her problem. Your main problem should be how not to affect your son in this situation.
Focus on your son, and focus on getting a job. Getting a good job was a game changer for me.
