Advice on My Scenario Pt 12-Less Talk More Action

[OrangeK]

How much weight do you think there is to the "Ages that end i 9's" theory regarding WW's/WAW's and "MLC" (even at 29/30)

All of this craziness happened to coincide with WW turning 30 last Christmas too. She was checking out at Christmas, and by the 2nd week in Jan she was well on her way out. A few weeks at the Salon and her decision was made, as soon as she knew about OM i became totally worthless, but she hide and lied for the better part of a year.

I truly believe she was conflicted for a few months in dealing with falling into an affair.

She talked about not having done things in her life, "Gorwing and changing" and all sorts of other nonsense she was using to justify her actions.

Seems like too much of a coincidence given the timing.

[TBSakaJ9]

I don't put any stock into it......my EW was 42 when she told me she wanted a D. I could tell something was wrong for a few months prior though. My EW told me she was not happy , that she was bored, that she was broken, that I was a great provider, a great father, the best sex she ever had but that she was done.

That is why I say and others that you will never know the reason why and they will say anything to try to justify.

It's OK....OK get it all out.

[OrangeK]

I don't put any stock into it......my EW was 42 when she told me she wanted a D. I could tell something was wrong for a few months prior though. My EW told me she was not happy , that she was bored, that she was broken, that I was a great provider, a great father, the best sex she ever had but that she was done.

That is why I say and others that you will never know the reason why and they will say anything to try to justify.

It's OK....OK get it all out.

Is she happier now that shes single and D'd?
It seems like they all get this "Im unhappy" delusion, only to find out the grass really isnt greener. Then they end up like It Hurts wife, swallowing her pride and trying to come back to the sure thing she never should have left.

[OrangeK]

this is why i ask about "what will WW do" so damn much, because i want to be prepared, both mentally and emotionally when it happens, because i truly believe it will. Probably not until 2022 or something rediculous like that, but i DO believe it will happen. Not because i want it to (i do now, proably wont by then) but because it not only seems to be HER pattern, but also that of the WW.

Im willing to be a good portion of the posters you never hear back from do eventually hear from their WS's eventually and just dont come back to report it. Do they all R, certainly not, but i think the "Hoover" or return of WW is more common. their timing just [censored].

[TBSakaJ9]

O - IDK, she seems like the same person to me. Outside of having her own place and space I don't really see a change in her. She is definitely not as excited and angry as she was last summer. I don't get the impression that she is hanging around the same crowd of friends any more either (the ones she used as enablers last summer). IMO she doesn't seem any different than before she moved out. If there is OM he has not poked his head out of the ground yet nor has she introduced him to our kids.

If she ever has a change of heart unfortunately it will happen after I have moved on and am happy in another R.

[TBSakaJ9]

this is why i ask about "what will WW do" so damn much, because i want to be prepared, both mentally and emotionally when it happens, because i truly believe it will. Probably not until 2022 or something rediculous like that, but i DO believe it will happen. Not because i want it to (i do now, proably wont by then) but because it not only seems to be HER pattern, but also that of the WW.

I firmly believe it won't happen until it is no longer on your radar to happen and by then you won't even think twice when it happens.

Im willing to be a good portion of the posters you never hear back from do eventually hear from their WS's eventually and just dont come back to report it. Do they all R, certainly not, but i think the "Hoover" or return of WW is more common. their timing just

I think the general thought is "yes", at some point in time the LBS will have a shot but like I said you can't just put your life on hold waiting for it to happen.

If the stars and moons align and each of you are in the same place then it's possible

[OrangeK]

Well. tonight i am going to my grandparents house to talk to them about helping me get a lawyer. I really had hoped it wouldn't come to this, but between me messing up my paperwork, the fact that she inst reporting her tips on her paperwork, I still suspect she has another apartment possibly out of state, just not in her name, probably OM's or FIL's name on the apartment, but S3 talks about going there still, and if its out of state that's SO illegal. (the WHOLE time we were together she always kept her moms address as her "mailing address" for everything and only listed our houses/apartments as her residence on her drivers license, otherwise as far as all her CC's and whatnot are concerned shes always been at her moms......fishy)
Plus her dads........history, needs to be handled by a professional.
Lastly i need real legal clarification on all of the Child Support / Day care stuff.

I didn't want the divorce to get contentious, Hell, didn't ever want the divorce, but this is the path she has set us on with the Affair and TRO.

time for hardball i guess.

[OrangeK]

I firmly believe it won't happen until it is no longer on your radar to happen and by then you won't even think twice when it happens.

Agree 100%, that seems to be how it goes.

I think the general thought is "yes", at some point in time the LBS will have a shot but like I said you can't just put your life on hold waiting for it to happen.

If the stars and moons align and each of you are in the same place then it's possible

Exactly. I plan on having focused on myself for some time then, and if she did come back it would have to be with the list of pre-requisites i mentioned in reply to Sandi earlier.

[TBSakaJ9]

Your just protecting yourself....it's all business from here on out.

[OrangeK]

Your just protecting yourself....it's all business from here on out.

You know what. I pity her. She lives EVERYDAY behind a mask, every person she meets she has to put on the act.

Just the last few weeks of having to ACT all nice and business like when all i want to do is tell her what an awful HOAR she has been (lets not forget she cheated on me, 1 night stand 3 weeks after wedding) and tell her shes a horrid human for what she did to S3, all just to turn around and do it again in a few years to OM.

It has been EXHAUSTING to have to put up that false front for her, and MIL. I dont know How TF she does it day in and day out, her whole life.
Sad, pitiable and exhausting. No wonder she isn't ever happy or satisfied with anything.