Acc as always I really do appreciate your counsel. The only reason I asked about the marital home/dating was for the FUTURE. Given the current status with my W the question of whether or not I will try to keep the house is THE major decision before me and so I was curious if remaining in a marital home might freak out dates only AFTER D was completed and I was ready to date again.
As you say at this time I see ZERO path to reconcile. W has only once in 3 months said anything about her feelings on the topic of us. She is a very stubborn woman who's mind I believe will never change. So you are 100% right that my brain has concluded it's for sure over, while my heart hopes that it isn't. The limbo yes has been terrible for me. I feel like since she's not talking to me she must have OM already and I'm just like a caged animal waiting to be executed once W can do so.
This is my 2nd marriage and best as I can see will be 2nd D. It's hard not to feel myself the common denominator. How/why I've been nothing but a failure at M when so many others seem to do just fine baffles me. I'm just not sure I even want to see the other side again. It seems to me women no longer truly commit as in prior generations for better or worse.
Just don't know what to say/think anymore. I've detached from her, leaving her be, seems like all that's done is convince her the R is over, we should file for D and move on. I sit here and think maybe what I'm doing is all wrong, maybe if I emailed/texted her how I've been feeling we could at least begin to talk. Maybe date, start over, etc. But I don't send her anything nor act on it. So I just live my life and wait til she pulls the trigger and sets me free to the other side as you say. I'm probably melodramatic with lots of what I just wrote, but I just see no hope what I most want (R with my W in a new MR) has any kind of path no matter what I do. Let the 2x4 beatings commence!
