Maika, I think it would be tense but if my husband is in a good mood I think we'd just talk about whatever we see in front of us with our daughter. I'd otherwise stay quiet unless he asks something. We went to lunch together when we moved to our new place in April and my husband was in a terrible mood that day and looked down at his phone the whole time. I don't want that to happen again. But if he's acting nice and we have an easy exit strategy I think we could do it. For now I'll keep a distance, potentially for months, until I get a better sense of what's happening. At some point we'll have to talk about getting divorced or whatever our status is. For example if he wants to sell our house where he lives he'll need my involvement. Or if he moves to our current city I assume there'll be some incentive to talk about our finances and a new plan for him to see our daughter. I really have no idea, but a short excursion to make our daughter happy would be great whenever we can pull it off.
If your wife ever asks you to join a family activity and you go you can probably just kind of ignore her presence or smile politely when she speaks without engaging her. Perhaps you can ask Jim for advice too since he and his wife and daughter saw a movie together last week.
