Yes, the sadness comes in waves and different intensities.
In the beginning, there were more tears and being out of control and anxiety and mania. But then, that settled, and it brought a more aching kind of sadness. The kind that can turn into a depressive state. I know it very well.
I went quite a few months without tears, but still had that aching sadness. It was slowly going away, but it was still there. Then just a month ago, something happened and all the tears came back.
Going through that process was important and I felt like I was able to let the last bits of grief out. I am sure there are still some in there, but I don't feel it acutely any more.
The physical process of crying is very cathartic and you'll have events where it will come back. The cycling of emotions and moods is very common and you have to let it run its course.
In the first year, I'd say it's okay to wallow in it when you're having a bad day. I just recommend you give yourself a time limit to do it. So, I would give myself 24 hours to feel everything and think of everything and just let it out. But once that clock was up, I was back to my game plan of GAL and focusing on the positives.
There is no shortcut unfortunately, but the more you're able to act and do stuff, even when you don't feel like it, it will still have a positive impact in the long run.
You're building your resilience muscles. So, don't skip on the workout even if you're not feeling it today.
