Can I really do this #2

[Dtrmned]

Arsh,
Thanks for weighing in. I always love perspective, questions and insight into this crazy journey that we are unfortunately going through or have experienced. I do believe that my W is struggling very much to remain committed and justified in her decision to end our MR. I had a good weekend. I think the whole family did as well. W and I had very little interaction, but when we did it was brief and good. I think she enjoyed her space, and also that she had a good day (rare for her with all her medical issues, etc.). On Sunday there was a very brief run in regarding a situation where she asked me if I could do something. She did not like the way that I responded, even though the answer was "yes". She badgered on for a few minutes and I finally asked her "I have answered you 5 times that yes I will do this, this is no an argument, and I don't understand why you want to persist when I have already said yes". She went on to say that this is the reason we have to D. Funny, a small question for a task with which I said yes to and that is the reason??
Again, her painting the picture the way she wants.
Reason for mediation would only be financial. A's cost way too much. I do not know if that can even be avoided at all as my W is still in her fog phase and hasn't had reality hit her as to the real world, costs, jobs, etc. I believe this is going to get much worse in the coming days and weeks. Unfortunately, especially from the guidance I have received here (shouts out to all of you!) that my W has to experience this in her own way. I cannot "save" her any longer. As Sandi2 put it, she fired me awhile ago from that job. She has to dip her toes in the water and find out that it really is hot lava!
I am very aware of the timeline. Unfortunately, I am experiencing some issues that could require a relocation, job opportunity with equity and the ability to gt myself and my children back to a better quality of life for our futures. Whether W wants to be a part or not, she is on her own timeline. W is really pushing for the mediation appointment. I am agreeable as all of the mediation companies I have read have said they give no advice legal, counseling, or otherwise and their only position is to try to mediate issues to an agreeable solution. ALL ask that you have mostly all of your issues resolved prior to going in. My W has nothing worked out. We had an hour discussion one afternoon and we accomplished 2 issues regarding the kids.
She is even at the point of saying to me last week "you make the appointment". I told her again this weekend, you check their availability and then we can fit then in when we both can be there. She needs to do some heavy lifting and it is not going to be fun for her. At any time, if I feel this is going bad or if I need to, I can always L up. She did file in February and withdrew it the next week. The mediation is not court ordered and neither of us have filed yet.

Got in a bunch of miles this weekend and feel good to the start of a new week. I'm sure it will be full of adventures.