STH, knowing that your wife is having an affair but having her not know that you know is the worst. When my husband first didn't come home due to his first big affair I wanted to throw his laptop out the window. I didn't do it but the pain of suffering silently while your spouse is out having the best time of their life at your expense is so unfair. I also wonder how people who have kids can just not come home. What about your son?! I was too easy on my husband and he continued having affairs even after the first one ended. I guess it becomes a lifestyle for them or they feel entitled. It's so sad that the person we married can disappear like that and not only commit such crimes but not even care in the least about our pain. Even if your wife was depressed at one point and you weren't sensitive to her, what about what she's doing to you now? Isn't this worse? I could go on for a long time but basically it sounds like you took the right steps with counseling and retrouville and working on the marriage. You're also doing the right thing now by containing your emotions but it's really, really hard. In a way it's more liberating to bust your wife in the middle of one of her fun nights out than to stay quiet but you have an innocent child to protect and want to proceed cautiously for his sake. I fully sympathize with what a horrible experience you're going through!
