Limerence and My Situation 6

[Parkema]

Hello All,

AS keeping me honest.

I read recently a post about us guys and gals disappearing when things get better and how it dilutes the effectiveness of the forum and the advice given, guilty as charged AS

I personally am continually monitoring (stalking) the boards and see very often the same circumstances cropping up time after time and felt it a good time to just put out there my views again about the whole infidelity WS situation and another perceived way of looking at it.

Straight off the bat Im all for the DR principles and have used these to get to a point where I find myself in a better place could be limbo BUT I feel after looking at the boards we all too quickly end our R in D. this is NOT DR or DB divorce busting but also understand can be driven to it which eventually leads to the same result.
I feel the Croix of my experience over the 2 years and counting standing for my M is this and its really simple , you cant control your WS or the A.

I really do believe in the process also , Infatuation, bonding, disintegration but all of this is irrelevant as you arent bothered about your WS are you? Your only concern is the rest of YOUR and your children s lives. Time to move on from him,her and get out there and enjoy life.
When they come around , Be civil and nice and always a safe place for them to talk if they want BUT UNDER YOUR TERMS.
When they pursue D , slow everything down as much as possible, make them do all the work.
When they want to fight , Charge neutral, give them no ammunition dont argue just stay strong, confident and classy. Walk away if you feel the anger rising. Eventually youll realise they do this to try and justify having the A dont give them the justification.

Remember theyre spinning out of control emotionally , step away from that and enjoy the time.

You cant control them or the A so why bother

So am still here and still reading.

Mark.