Last year for my W and I anniversary I asked the same question here on thus forum. Should I give her something. Well, before I found this site, I went out and bought her a bracelet. Well I got mixed reviews from the forum. So I had already bought the bracelet and deep down, I wanted it to have an impact. On our anniversary I gave her the bracelet. She looked at that bracelet and not a bit of excitement came out her. It was a surreal moment. She didn't give a f@$!. That hurt more than hell. After recon, we brought that bracelet back to the store, I got a chain, that I love and I'm wearing it now, and she got some different things.
My point is that gift had no impact on her changing her mind. The only thing she saw of value were my actions. I could of spent all kind of money and got all kind of gifts, she only saw my actions on that day as trying to hold on too something that she didn't want (the M), controlling her and not validating her feelings. That gift represented me not understanding that for her the M was over and wasn't because of me not getting her gifts it was because she had resentment.
After that day, and that gift I just couldn't allow myself to seem weak like that anymore.
Your W is not mentally in your M, so getting her something that is dead in her eyes will IMO come off as pursuit and weak.
The best thing you can get her on that day, is telling her "Happy anniversary", with a smile, be strong and confident. And go about your day.
I wasn't going to get her anything or even mention the anniversary. My counselor said to write a small note. So that's what I'm looking for. But I kinda think I'm better off without it.
H 34 W 29 BD 3/12/18 Divorce Busted Spring 19
It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
