Let me rephrase something. I said "not healthy". What I should have said was the feelings he has are not beneficial to helping him get through this. They are entirely normal and he has every right to be upset with his Mom because his life is changing immensely. I'm just saying that I encourage you to help him work through that in a more positive way rather than ignoring her texts and her attempts to reach out. I think that's really sad for both of them.
M: 43, H: 44 Married 18 yrs, Together 26 yrs S17, D15, D8, S6 Still living in MH
Oh dear, I don't like it that my opinion is so different than a long time poster. Makes me feel like I'm missing something! Maybe there is more to your story than I know.
M: 43, H: 44 Married 18 yrs, Together 26 yrs S17, D15, D8, S6 Still living in MH
Helena and V thank you for your input. I agree on having a healthy relationship between S and W but I will not force feed it. I understand my S is very hurt and do not want to upset him more than he already is.
Please help me find clarity- what should I do?
M51 w50 T-20Yrs M-16Yrs S15- mad at W for not trying and giving up 1 Awesum dog BD 10/31/17 separate rooms 02/08/18 wife moved out 05/17/18
Can I confirm just a couple things? Your W has not gone outside your M or been abusive in any way...is that correct? She decided one day she wants a divorce and proceeded with that. Is there any more to it than that?
M: 43, H: 44 Married 18 yrs, Together 26 yrs S17, D15, D8, S6 Still living in MH
If you have been reading my stich you will see that my W met me at church. We were both believers when we met an we as a family would attend church regularly. Now she stopped attending.
M51 w50 T-20Yrs M-16Yrs S15- mad at W for not trying and giving up 1 Awesum dog BD 10/31/17 separate rooms 02/08/18 wife moved out 05/17/18
Got it, I have been reading your posts lately and so I went back and read your first couple as well but I haven't read all three threads.
Anyway, I was asking about clarity on the religion aspect bc I wasn't sure if your faith was considerably stronger than hers or if you were both very devoted. Developing a considerably stronger faith along the way could definitely impact the marriage and I was curious about that.
My M is a mess so I don't feel ultra comfortable offering M advice, ha, but I do have 4 wonderful children so I do feel somewhat qualified in that regard.
My advice to you stands then....what happens between you and your wife, as unfortunate as it may be is between the two of you and I would try to tell your son that as much as possible. He will grow up with his own feelings about the commitment of marriage and his opinion about his Mom leaving the marriage may continue to be very strong, however, he should still have a loving relationship with her in order to grow into his fullest potential. I am a firm believer that both parents are absolutely critical to a child's development and to that end, it should be encouraged. Not forced but HIGHLY encouraged. As parents, we know how to delicately do that
M: 43, H: 44 Married 18 yrs, Together 26 yrs S17, D15, D8, S6 Still living in MH
Helena everything you say is true. However, LW can't fix his S and w's relationship. He risks alienating his son and losing their relationship too. He has done nothing to cause this and therefore can do nothing to correct it.
LW is a religious man and has not slandered his W to his S. His S is seeing his mother's terrible choices for himself.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
