New Year, new thinking..

[Coly23]

Hey Roist, great to hear from you! I was glad to read your post this morning as it set me up for the day! 'Don't try and win him back' that was what I need to hear!

Journaling: so H came over today after texting me in the morning to ask if I needed anything for the BBQ. I said to just bring drinks.

When he came over we both loaded up his car with stuff for recycling including and old piece of exercise equipment which was very heavy. I asked H if he wanted me to go with him to the recycling centre to help and he said that would be good. It was my first time in his car since he changed it about a year ago. It was strange! Funnily enough I commented that the seat back position of the passenger seat was really far back and he told me to adjust it to how I want it as 'no one usually sits in the passenger seat anyway'. Was he trying to tell me something...? When we we're in the car I stayed very quiet, which is very hard for me! It must have made him feel uncomfortable as he kept asking me lots of questions, which is very unusual for him!

When we got back he suggested we start up the BBQ and that is what I started to do but very naturally we both fell into our usual jobs and he took over the BBQ with me fliting from kitchen to BBQ! He went and got the BBQ utensils himself and literally did the whole thing. I did comment that I didn't mean for him to do the cooking and he said he really didn't mind. It really was like old times, like he never left.

Afterwards we watched a film and he has just left to go get ready for work tomorrow. I don't really know what to think. I hope he had a nice day. We did talk about some old memories with D and we all had a laugh. The ball is in his court now. I've done enough to pave the way. Although he is still very distant from me which I guess is normal. After all it wouldn't do to show that he likes me!

Another thing is that each time he hugs and kisses me when he goes to leave he does a little giggle. What's that about!

Anyway, I survived!