My WAS - looking help and thanks in advance PART 2

[joejoe1]

Ovr,

Another post about telling her parents. Why are you so obsessed with telling her parents. You have gotten an abundance of advice why that won't be a good idea, but you keep revisiting the idea.

So something is telling me that you think a message like that to her parents will change your switch. It will change your switch and not in the direction you want.

Work on working on you. Stop trying to control your M, R and sitch. It's hard we all know. It will take time, you cant rush this process. It will take hard Work and discipline.

Your worth is just as valuable as your W worth and once your start living and treating yourself that way, your W will have to do the same.

[ovrrnbw]

Ovr,

Another post about telling her parents. Why are you so obsessed with telling her parents. You have gotten an abundance of advice why that won't be a good idea, but you keep revisiting the idea.

So something is telling me that you think a message like that to her parents will change your switch. It will change your switch and not in the direction you want.

Work on working on you. Stop trying to control your M, R and sitch. It's hard we all know. It will take time, you cant rush this process. It will take hard Work and discipline.

Your worth is just as valuable as your W worth and once your start living and treating yourself that way, your W will have to do the same.

I guess I'm obsessed with b/c she asked me not to tell them. I think I posted earlier that but I'm not sure.

The worst part about posting that is that it derails my thread. I really don't mean to aggravate, but sometimes I gotta "vent" or get some garbage out of my head. Sorry you guys.

[joejoe1]

Ovr,

You dont have to be sorry. I wasn't trying to be hard on you.

It's your thread and if you need to vent go ahead.

I'm just want to try and save you some heart ache if I can. Keep posting to vent it is very therapeutic.

[Vanilla]

And Vanilla, on yesterday's convo, I tried to get off the phone 3 times and she stopped me. I just need to be firmer?

Yes the way to do it is to say 'going now' 'bye' and put the phone down.

V

[ovrrnbw]

And Vanilla, on yesterday's convo, I tried to get off the phone 3 times and she stopped me. I just need to be firmer?

Yes the way to do it is to say 'going now' 'bye' and put the phone down.

V

And stick to that until the day (that may never come) that she wants to talk R, right?

[Vanilla]

My view is straight up, they are her parents. Don't lie to them by saying or omission if they ask.

So if they ask you say.

Otherwise you shoot yourself in the foot and then the other one.

V

[ovrrnbw]

How do I handle upcoming anniversary as well? Mention nothing right?

My counselor says to leave a little note. But she advised me to tell WW I stayed in town bc of her this weekend so that WW knows I care how she is. I dunno what you all think about that advice.

[Vanilla]

And Vanilla, on yesterday's convo, I tried to get off the phone 3 times and she stopped me. I just need to be firmer?

Yes the way to do it is to say 'going now' 'bye' and put the phone down.

V

And stick to that until the day (that may never come) that she wants to talk R, right?

Depends on the R talk, first Q is are you still with dirt bag? If yes then we don't have an R to talk about.

V

[Vanilla]

How do I handle upcoming anniversary as well? Mention nothing right?

My counselor says to leave a little note. But she advised me to tell WW I stayed in town bc of her this weekend so that WW knows I care how she is. I dunno what you all think about that advice.

I guess you follow your counsellor, they know more about you. Trouble is knows you care that is why you talk to her for hours at a time. I am not saying bring rude or passive aggressive. Friendly neighbour strategy.

But why celebrate an M that's done? A note might be seen as trying to guilt trip unsure.

I think with this one, it's a fine line. Other anniversaries are easier.

V

[ovrrnbw]

I guess you follow your counsellor, they know more about you. Trouble is knows you care that is why you talk to her for hours at a time.

What does the bolded part mean? Sorry V...

But why celebrate an M that's done? A note might be seen as trying to guilt trip unsure.

That's how I feel too. I'll probably be wrong no matter what I do.

I think with this one, it's a fine line. Other anniversaries are easier.

V

Yes, it's hard to say.