She knows I've been reading...

[SteveLW]

To me hope is so important. And I think you're in a healthy spot in that regard.

Where many other posters go awry in their DBing efforts is tying DBing to a lack of hope. In other words if I have hope I'm going to pursue, pressure and chase. Then they get discouraged because all that does is push their WAS further away.

Then there's the other extreme of a lack of hope so I'm going to initiate divorce myself.

The trick to DBing is to stay even through the hope and hopelessness. You will cycle between the two but not letting it dictate your actions is the key.

Those that DB well stay consistent through out. The remain patient even over years if they have to. We have a poster here whose XW is showing signs of wanting to R even after they've been divorced for 4 years.

So those that keep their emotions under control are the ones that have a chance. Those that let their emotions control them are the ones that spiral into a divorce that is final.

Our society has a clear lack of control of self these days. You don't have to look very far to see examples of a lack of self control. We aren't animals. We don't act on pure instinct. We can control ourselves as free moral agents.