It's sick. But the kids don't know it. They don't know how often we go places socially, they are kids, they don't give a crap if their parents have "date night", would never even occur to them right?? They don't know if their parents have sex or not, they'd prefer to think they don't, haha. Right? And like I said up until 7 months ago, we were affectionate, held hands, no one could tell that things weren't perfect, just like any other marriage. No one knows what happens behind closed doors. Just because I'm telling you what happens behind those doors doesn't mean anyone else knows that!
What is happening in our house right now however it is a little more detrimental as there is no longer any affection nor do we talk to one another. We still say things like "show Mommy" or "Did you tell Daddy xyz?". But it is true that at this rate, they will never again experience the Mom and the Dad who dances in the kitchen. We are no longer acting in a way that demonstrates a loving couple. So yes, there are now issues that weren't there before. And I know I need to figure it out, but those answers don't come overnight and thus I am here, trying to work it out and get some support and guidance from other people who have issues in their marriages and are willing to talk about it because that's not something you can get just anywhere. People would rather look perfect than be real. Myself included, because being real is really f$%!g hard. But we all get to a point where we have to accept that they only way out is through and the longer you pretend to be perfect, the longer you stay stuck in the same crappy place.
your daughter had a conversation with you regarding your M... even said, whatever you decide she understands... she "knows how he is..." something like that... they know... your son asked you about your H sleeping on the couch... they know things... they notice... they cope by pretending not to know... who gives a crap about date night? a respectful healthy marriage does not need date nights... your H is gaslighting you... healthy people do not do these things...
the thing is, you sound even less healthy now than you did when you first started this thread... i noticed the same thing with Psychsara... every time she decided to give it one more try, her H wore her down more... she came back weaker and weaker... i saw it happen with Cherry... and i see the same thing with you... i can't help but feel for your children... there are plenty of marriages where the H and W are not living abundantly happy lives, but they make it work... that's not what you have... your H has hostility toward you... he despises you... he is selfish to the point of putting his disgust with you above your family... that has effects... it just does... i get that you cannot see that right now...
at the very least, i hope you will give Vanilla your ear...
