My WAS - looking help and thanks in advance PART 2

[SteveLW]

One other thing your long update made me think of, and this is a caution for newbies that are just starting their journey, your W being concerned about what other people think when hearing about her affair is why it is wise NOT to talk to family and friends about the sitch.

I really believe that discussing the sitch with family and friends later because a roadblock to R. It is hard enough for the WAS to come back after all of the water under the bridge between them and LBS. That is compounded when family and friends are brought into it because now the WAS has to deal with those relationships when trying to come back to.

I made a lot of mistakes in my sitch, but the one thing I heard from anti-divorce experts early on was to NOT bring family and friends into it for this very reason. I know in my sitch, if I had gone to my parents and siblings and others, it would have driven my W even further away than she already was, and probably would have destroyed any change of R.

Obviously for those that have already done this it is too late, that toothpaste is already out of the tube, but for any one new to this think very hard about confiding in people that later will have problems dealing with your WAS in their own relationship with them.