[HelenaJ]

your are both fooling yourselves if you think your children are not living in a broken home.

I agree with you here. Yet somehow I still take responsibility for it. If I could just pretend like H has suggested, they would never know. The problem is that since H has told me these things, I cannot pretend. I realize I shouldn't HAVE TO. But if I want to stay and if I want my home to be in tact, then I have to get to a point where I can do that. Because my home as it is now, is certainly broken.

that you think it might be admirable shows just how sick you are... you are not healthy, your H is not healthy... pray tell how you think you can give your children a whole, healthy home? please...

A lot of people choose to stay together for their children and they put that above their own personal happiness. The problem I have here is that neither H or I were unhappy. He is punishing me and choosing to withhold healthy aspects of a R and passing it off as consequences for what I have done. It's sick. But the kids don't know it. They don't know how often we go places socially, they are kids, they don't give a crap if their parents have "date night", would never even occur to them right?? They don't know if their parents have sex or not, they'd prefer to think they don't, haha. Right? And like I said up until 7 months ago, we were affectionate, held hands, no one could tell that things weren't perfect, just like any other marriage. No one knows what happens behind closed doors. Just because I'm telling you what happens behind those doors doesn't mean anyone else knows that!

What is happening in our house right now however it is a little more detrimental as there is no longer any affection nor do we talk to one another. We still say things like "show Mommy" or "Did you tell Daddy xyz?". But it is true that at this rate, they will never again experience the Mom and the Dad who dances in the kitchen. We are no longer acting in a way that demonstrates a loving couple. So yes, there are now issues that weren't there before. And I know I need to figure it out, but those answers don't come overnight and thus I am here, trying to work it out and get some support and guidance from other people who have issues in their marriages and are willing to talk about it because that's not something you can get just anywhere. People would rather look perfect than be real. Myself included, because being real is really f$%!g hard. But we all get to a point where we have to accept that they only way out is through and the longer you pretend to be perfect, the longer you stay stuck in the same crappy place.