WW in MLC affair and I need advice..

[Natash]

Journal update:
I've have enjoyed the last seven days and am getting use to the single dad lifestyle.I took last Friday off. WW dropped off the girls with Dunkin donuts for breakfast. She even bought a donut and juice for me to have with my Daughters (I later thanked her for that). I had loaded up the camper and after breakfast took my girls camping for a few days at a beautiful state park that I had never camped at. They enjoyed riding their bikes, cooking over the fire, hiking around the park and ocean shoreline and drove up a mountain that overlooks the harbor village. Saturday morning D5 woke up with a bruised and bloodshot eye. I gave her some eye drops and we then ride bikes, hiked around and later walked to get an ice cream. My D5 only took three licks and had enough. She said her head hurt so we took an hour nap and headed in town. She still didn't seem her self and when I took them out to eat, d5 did not touch her meal once it was on the table and said her belly hurt. I left halfway through my wonderful local blueberry beer and meal thinking she was going to get sick anytime.Back at the camper she immediately laid down and that is when I decided we had to head home. I did not have my W there to watch them Incase I needed to head into town for supplies. I did not have any medicine or thermometer in case of a temperature. At this point in the trip is where I was amazed with D7. I told her we have to pack up and head home now. She knew her sister wasn't feeling well and D7 did not ask any questions or complain once. I showed her how to crank up the stabilizers, she helped me roll up the awning, move the picnic table and then she learned how to undo the wheel chocks (after I had the camper hitched to the truck). We took down camp in record time, quicker than when my A and I would do it. I was so proud of her for all the help. After getting home and taking D5 into express care, turns out she had a several head cold virus that affected her eyes and she is being treated for conjunctivitis and much better now.

On Memorial day I got invited to play golf. I went and really had fun and met a new guy (friend of a friend). I didn't play well because it was my first time golfing in 6 years but it was fun and I got invited back to my buddies house for an amazing BBQ. Several people there know my wife and I and they seem to empathize with me and my sitch. I called it a night after a few beers and several games of Cornhole. I enjoyed the short ride home on my new motorcycle.

Through out this week, I've noticed my W has texted me several times. Probably more in the last 7 days than the seven months. I find it interesting, maybe she is senseing I've dropped the rope. My D had given me a free mini golf game from when she went with W and OM. She wanted me to use it when we go. So I had plans to take them two days ago and oddly enough WW texts "I've been meaning to ask you if you had a free mini golf card of mine?" I said yeah, d5 gave it to me to use tomorrow when I take the girls. She replied " well that isy free game that I got and d5 filed it from my hands and wouldn't give it back. You can give it back to me" I replied, I'll give it to D7, you will get it back to tonight. Several hours later she texts "it's fine, I just wanted you to know" then later on "you can keep the free game card, I didn't realize they expire." Then W explained how impressive and helpful D7 was with D5 at the doctor's. I had heard enough about the free mini golf game and texted back "awesome about D7! I'm done wasting time discussing your free game. Later on she responds "well let's be honest, if you had paid for a game and won a free round you wouldn't want me to have it so when it's the other way around...well, I would have never taken it" She was acting like I took it from my Dad to get a free game and not realizing D5 was excited to give what I thought was her free card up to use. In the past I would have tried to get the.last word on if I already told ww I was done discussing it and stuck to it by not responding.WW actually called me on the phone the next night to tell me the story she had already texted me about D7 being helpful answering doctors questions about d5.She was talking and in a good mood as if it were the good old days and wanted to tell me in person because it was funnier than reading it in a text. She was talking to me like we were best friends. I found it odd but will take this over the bitchy cold withdrawn self she has been.

Yesterday I got a txt inviting me to join the w and girls at a school carnival type event tomorrow if I didn't have plans. I responded thank you you but I have plans (to go whitewater rafting) and won't be able to attend. I thought it was a nice gesture by the ww but part of me thinks it was just to make things with the family out in public look good for her. I debated last night about posting pictures to Facebook of our camping trip. Ww is suppose to be making the payment on the camper. I was concerned that if she saw the pics and realized what she is missing out on, she'd get angry and stop making payments for something that only benefit me as she has no way to haul it. Then I thought about it and said self...there are family and friends that would enjoy the pics and I'm not going to stop using Facebook if ww and I end up divorced so I'm not letting her have control over me and I posted them. Many more friends reacted or commented than I expected and surprisingly ww was one who liked them. This is the first thing I've posted in probably six months that she "liked".

Last but not least, last night I had my mom and dad over for dinner. They now come over one night a week for dinner when I have the girls. It is nice for me and the girls enjoy it. Also my youngest sister joined and now all three of my sister's are up to speed on my sitch so that was a relief in a way. D7 found out two of her aunt's were going to be in town this weekend. She wanted to make plans to see them so I told her she'd have to talk with mom(as it's mom's weekend with the girls). D7 went right to the phone And called ww. Then ww wants to talk to me and with attitude says daughters can't be put in the middle. If they want to see their aunt's (my sister's) they should be able to even if it isn't my weekend. I said we'll this is a result from a choice you made and I'm sticking to the schedule and if it is your weekend with the girls I will not make plans for or tell you what to do. She said that's not my point and here we go it's like I'm talking to a wall (raising her voice), the girls should not miss out,isn't that what you want? I said settle down and listen to me...this hasn't been about what I want so don't bring that up now. W replied, what's that supposed to mean? I said that's a conversation for a different time. She then said oh, is it about coming home cause nothing has been done on that front. You want me to come home? I responded no and you are not talking to a wall. I understand what you are saying but I don't agree ( I think changing the schedule around to benefit the opposite parent at the time can lead to issues if taken advantage of and my family does not want to be around ww until/if she shows some remorse. Anyone chime in to help clarify this situation for me? Then ww brought up a birthday that d7 was invited to (ww found the invitation when she came to the house to pick up her mail). I talked with D7 about it but did not mention it to WW because the party landed on a date I have the girls. Ww started to cry on the phone " I've always taken the girls to birthday parties since they were born". I said yes you have, and all of their doctors appointments...she cut me off crying more "this isn't the time for praise. I don't want to miss out on these events just because of our situation and the girls happen to be with you". I told her I need to say good bye to some people and I'd have to call her back. I haven't called her back and I understand what she is saying but think it is her selfishness kicking in. She didn't realize some of these consequences from her decision to separate, seperate our schedules and move out. What is the best way to handle this?

I find these interactions making me question things and try to understand or get into ww's head and I'm know that is not the right thing to do as it is pointless. It makes it harder cause I'm thinking does she want to communicate more? But she hasn't shown remorse so I need to routinely tell myself I have dropped the rope right? Detaching is easier without the constant texts that's for sure.