Wife is not who I married... Pls Help Part 3

[LoneWlf]

Thanks V- you always seem to support when needed

update
Did my morning routine of prayers and went to the gym. Worked out and came home to prepare for my interview. In my opinion I think the interview was good- not by best interview but still solid. He said he would contact me next week for a followup.
Went to therapist session with W and S. S was very systematic in his questioning almost lawyer like asking questions to lead a witness.

He started by stating that he was in alot of turmoil and pain. And that the mother he knew would do anything to take away the pain. Why not now?
W said - I wish I could take away your pain but sorry I wasn't happy and I cannot live like that anymore.
(Please note I know my job is to validate - But the therapist specifically told me to sit back and not say a word)

S then brings up a quote from his english teacher saying," to escape the pain you must go thru the pain"
W says "I know you want your family like it was-I wish it could be different but I am still your mom. I love you and I want to help you". she did not even answer the question.
He then said "Do you think you need to go to church because you haven't been going" "Now if you feel like following society and thinking is divorce ok- iI see why you stopped going" , he asked " How serious were you when you said till death do us part- What changed?"
W said" When you start in a relationship everything looks good- you feel invincible. You do not see the other persons faults.Then life happens. Work, family obligations,deaths , births you grow and you change. It is not that I planned this out- sometimes you have to be willing to follow your heart. For me I feel I could not live like that anymore. Although there was no beating or abuse- I could not continue"
S said "He personally feels it is selfish what W is doing and all she is doing is looking out for herself. That she hurt S she hurt dad and alot of people in her selfish actions" He also said "I feel lied to and betrayed"- In that she said she would try her best and do everything she could for her family- But even in the family trip to Hawaii earlier this year- she said she would try but he felt she just quit!
Then S began to preach.S said " Open your heart to God because God is Love and if you have God in your heart then love lives there too! Once you have Love and God in your heart then you are open to the truth. The Truth is that God hates divorce. By not going to church you are not allowing God into your heart."
So proud that he pays attention at church.

At one point he mentioned when she was home that she walked around emotionless like she did not care. Now this is the first time in about 6 months that I actually saw my W cry. She said " that it was a defense mechanism in order for her not to constantly break down. She has kept it all in (now she is full out crying a river) She says in her new apartment she is very lonely and she is not singing or dancing often times she cries herself to sleep. I was sitting in the love seat with her because it was the only seat and I was totally focused on being detached and calm but I felt a need to give her a kleenex and put my hand gently on her shoulder to show support. To which see sincerely looked over and said thanks.

Later in the session the therapist asks S to acknowledge W pain and if he would be open to spending time with W. To which he said he might. Therapist asks him would he be willing to spend a day a week or even a meal with her. S says he will try to do 1 meal a week.

The therapist then thanked me for being so calm and supportive. My response was simply- I only want whats best for my BOY!!

Thru out this whole session I am thinking BREATHE- DETACH-STAY CALM- VALIDATE and BE THE LIGHTHOUSE. For most part I think I passed although after hearing W statements- It may solidify my thoughts that she may be well and done. To this- I know that I must continue my journey of self improvement for me and S!!

Blessings!