Good to hear you're doing better. The support from the sports forum sounds awesome. See, there are tons of people, who you've not even met see that you have value.
Not just in the beginning, throughout the first year or two at least, the LBS doesn't always realize the underpinnings of the decision they're making. You got your nerves hit by the 'stalker' comment because deep down you realized what you wanted to do was pursuit - not stalking obviously, but going overboard with that made you reflect. Good on you for that.
Now, make it a conscious habit to do that. I would do it for all the decisions - why am I doing this and who is this for? If it isn't for me and meeting my goals and values, I re-think the decision.
I still do that now because I don't always know why a certain decision feels right, or if I am letting my emotions drive my decision. Emotions are fleeting - this is highly researched - and so I give myself 24 hours to revisit the decision before i finally make it. And 8 times out of 10, I realize my decision was based on emotion, pursuit, or something that wasn't going to take me to where I want to go.
So, build in times and spaces for reflection. And as they say here, if you don't know what to do, do nothing. That's way better than doing something. Especially in the beginning six - twelve months.
