When you were a WW, would you characterize urself as having had some personality disorder? And you recovered from it eventually to get back with your husband?
No, I did not have any personality disorder. When waywards are at their peak of rebellion, they may cause their loved ones to wonder if something is mentally wrong, b/c this is not the person they have always known.
I recovered from my wayward mindset, but I had no personality disorder.
Good to know. So suppose taking example of my WAW who is not wayward but is just walking out of my life. She mentioned in her supposedly final text " I dont deserve her!". I have been her doormat for 6 years and i finally got this from her. I have read your detachment and accordingly we should not beleive anything they say and only 50% of what they do. If i characterize my wife as normal, what does the above statement really mean then? Also after we permanently divorce and move on, will she ever realize all the hurt she caused me ever?
As I told you previously, I think your situation caused a lot of disappointment and anger in your W. She is directing that anger at you, rather than trying to get a better understanding or therapy, MC, etc. You both have suffered, but I see her as being disillusioned about MR and not knowing how to deal with her feelings. She took the sexual issue as a personal offense. That made her angry. She needs counseling and educated about these type of issues. If not, then she is going to target you.
"If i characterize my wife as normal, what does the above statement really mean then?"
I believe she is venting a lot of frustration and anger. Don't take to heart the painful things she says about you/MR. It is a sad and unfortunate situation, which could be resolved if she believed that and would cooperate. Hopefully, time will dissipate a lot of anger.
"Also after we permanently divorce and move on, will she ever realize all the hurt she caused me ever?"
If she matures, and learns more about these type os sexual issues......and learn more about men........then, I believe she will understand the pain she inflicted. I can't remember your ages, but she sounds like a young lady who thought M would be all rose pedals & wine...........and not being able to have intercourse was not the romantic picture she had invisioned. She did not have the sex Ed to know how to deal with certain real life issues in the bedroom. She blamed herself, and she blamed you. Neither are to be blamed, but she has to learn. Time and maturity have a natural way of teaching us.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
