One of those days where I am trying to put in words the pain I feel. I keep trying to stay away from home as much as possible. My GAL with 2 small children is not something crazy fun but just kid friendly activities, especially with D3 and leaving baby home with H sometimes. Convos at home are restricted to children and only when necessary. No friendliness, chit chat or casual daily updates. H still talks to me with lot of anger and derision even for simple questions not pertaining to MR at all. It still hurts so much, the fact that the MR is on a slow death, H's hate and contempt for me and my inability to change anything about saving the MR all these are like thousands swords every single day. Even after 3 months of BD is it supposed to hurt so much? I have horrible days and not so horrible days, the not so horrible days are slowly increasing. in my case I never got to the anger phase. I went from disbelief to depression and denial to disappointment and going through slow acceptance. Why am I not angry? otherwise I am such a hot blooded person with a short fuse. Is this common?
