She has revealed a lot of debt she has gotten herself into
Early on i divided our finances
To protect myself
So now what do i do
First off. Don't be surprised. Wait - oh you're not.
First off - I'm not sure in your jurisdiction on whether you are liable for debts she took out in her name. I hope they weren't done jointly.
From the tone of your note, you are feeling the urge to rescue but you are not wanting to do that for lots of reasons I would presume. People like us have the natural tendency to rescue our princesses and to protect them from the ravages of the world.
My suggestion would be to perhaps look at this as if it were one of the older kids in a similar situation. How would you handle that?
In a similar conversation, my son's best friend who I occasionally mention as "20 something" got herself into a relatively small hole this past spring. Her credit was about to be destroyed and she reached out to me, not wanting to admit to her parents that she was in difficulty. I half expected her to ask me to write her a cheque with a vague offer to pay me back some day. I didn't want to say no. She's a nice kid even if she sends me far too many SnapChat pictures that include her ample cleavage (different story). She asked me to cosign for her instead. I did and we talked about different payment plans (since she's a novice at managing debt) and she now gives the bank money every 2 weeks after her pay day. Hasn't missed a payment. I told her though both directly and in front of the bank loan officer that I believed in her and trusted her to make good on the loan and mentioned that when my ex and I were in serious financial trouble about 15 years ago that others had believed in us and that was how we got our feet under us.
Not sure if that story applies to you or not Gordie but it may give you food for thought.
There's another story that I read here a looong time ago where the BS bought his wayward wife an expensive car thinking that would attract her back to him. She drove off in the car to her lover leaving him behind with the car payments.
People can be selfish and not be accountable for their own messes.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
