Moving past the WAW-MCL to a stronger me

[Davide]

V,

Yeah. I just don't like not responding to texts. It feels passive aggressive. But in this case it might be for the best.

She didnt write to let me know she is taking care of herself. I know she goes to the gym a ton. The message was all about her letting me know that she left bc I was there, and her asking me to let her know when I would be there.

[ovrrnbw]

V,

Yeah. I just don't like not responding to texts. It feels passive aggressive. But in this case it might be for the best.

She didnt write to let me know she is taking care of herself. I know she goes to the gym a ton. The message was all about her letting me know that she left bc I was there, and her asking me to let her know when I would be there.

She hurt you intentionally. Don't worry if you come off passive aggressive, you're clearly not going to play her game. That's it.

You are fine to not respond IMO. I don't talk to people who are being disrespectful, and it's not like you can beat her up.

[Vanilla]

She needs to grow up!

I am not playing if you play is so childish. Buy her some big girl pants.

There is a saying "I will scream and scream till I am sick". It's a six year old in the playground not inviting you to her birthday party.

V

[Davide]

Thanks for the support V!

I really feel like this hardened my heart a little. I do not think I have dropped the rope but my grip has certainly loosened.

[Ste7e]

Davide in my case I had told W that I was going to start taking more yoga classes with our shared teacher and she said that she couldnt handle me being in classes she also took that it was her only time completely for herself
This made sense to me maybe the gym is the same for your W

[Vanilla]

Davide in my case I had told W that I was going to start taking more yoga classes with our shared teacher and she said that she couldnt handle me being in classes she also took that it was her only time completely for herself
This made sense to me maybe the gym is the same for your W

Davide isn't chasing or doing extra. Just that which he has always done.

V

[Maika]

Hey! I think other folks covered it well about handling the text from her. I wouldn't respond at all. It was meant to hurt you and she couched it in a compliment $hit sandwich.

She's a grown woman and if she can't handle seeing you doing things out and about, then that's on her. She needs to work on that.

Continue living your life and keep enjoying it. Don't cower to her nonsense.

[Maika]

Btw - AS can stand up for himself so I am not here to defend him.

But, why did his comments hit such a nerve to you? Reflect on that. I didn't read anything offensive in his comment, except he gave you a solid 2x4. Take it on the chin and reflect.

Also, AS has saved the lives of many here, including me and Benito. I wouldn't just dismiss what he said.

[Davide]

Thanks Maika,

It definitely did hit a nerve. I was struck by the "stalker" comment. Upon reflecting I think it is because I was looking forward to having the opportunity to see her and let her see how well I am doing. I suppose there was a bit of pursuit in my heart, in that sense. However, I dont think that my actions were "stalkerish" at all. I have tried to be transparent and honest on here. I explained the situation beforehand and whether or not I should text her to "warn" her I was coming. The consensus seemed to be no, and I agreed, so I dropped it.

Honestly, today and yesterday have been much better for me. I actually have been able to take an interest in sports, which was a passion/distraction of mine over the last year, but which became unbearable post BD. I feel like I have reached a better place of detachment - not fully there, but much better than before. My appetite even came back last night.

I am thinking that I am going to give the party on Saturday a pass. I am probably not ready to deal with her in that context, nor with all the emotional fallout that it seems destined to provoke. I just need to come up with a plan to go out (hard since most of my friends will be there) and do something else.

I have also started doing some of the CBT exercises to see if that helps at all.

I did have another silly emotional moment today. I used to be a regular (multiple times a day) poster on a blog for fans of a sports team. It is kind of a crazy community but there are a lot of good folks on there. After BD I couldnt bring myself to go there at all (I used it as a distraction and a way to remove myself from my depression pre BD). In any case, there was some funny news that dropped last night and I posted on there for the first time in months saying that I was going through a really dark and distressing time but that this was the first thing that brought a smile to my face in months. When I logged on this morning, I was shocked to find an outpouring of support from so many different posters, people that I have never met in my life. It precipitated yet another tearful breakdown. To receive such support from you guys (and gals! h/t Vanilla) and even from anonymous sports fans is crazy to me.

I am so grateful to have both in my life.

[ovrrnbw]

Thanks Maika,

It definitely did hit a nerve. I was struck by the "stalker" comment. Upon reflecting I think it is because I was looking forward to having the opportunity to see her and let her see how well I am doing. I suppose there was a bit of pursuit in my heart, in that sense. However, I dont think that my actions were "stalkerish" at all. I have tried to be transparent and honest on here. I explained the situation beforehand and whether or not I should text her to "warn" her I was coming. The consensus seemed to be no, and I agreed, so I dropped it.

Honestly, today and yesterday have been much better for me. I actually have been able to take an interest in sports, which was a passion/distraction of mine over the last year, but which became unbearable post BD. I feel like I have reached a better place of detachment - not fully there, but much better than before. My appetite even came back last night.

I am thinking that I am going to give the party on Saturday a pass. I am probably not ready to deal with her in that context, nor with all the emotional fallout that it seems destined to provoke. I just need to come up with a plan to go out (hard since most of my friends will be there) and do something else.

I have also started doing some of the CBT exercises to see if that helps at all.

I did have another silly emotional moment today. I used to be a regular (multiple times a day) poster on a blog for fans of a sports team. It is kind of a crazy community but there are a lot of good folks on there. After BD I couldnt bring myself to go there at all (I used it as a distraction and a way to remove myself from my depression pre BD). In any case, there was some funny news that dropped last night and I posted on there for the first time in months saying that I was going through a really dark and distressing time but that this was the first thing that brought a smile to my face in months. When I logged on this morning, I was shocked to find an outpouring of support from so many different posters, people that I have never met in my life. It precipitated yet another tearful breakdown. To receive such support from you guys (and gals! h/t Vanilla) and even from anonymous sports fans is crazy to me.

I am so grateful to have both in my life.

Just do what YOU want. Everyone has emotions. You need to do a Johnny Drama psych up in the bathroom to make yourself feel better and look happy.

One thing I know, is when I'm talking and laughing or enjoying myself with a woman(a friend, trainer, whoever) in public (gym, bar, etc) is that women notice me smiling and being enjoyable. Women are attracted to that. They think: What could be so great? Why is this other woman enjoying him so much? Aren't I prettier than her?

That's why you get your emotions wrapped up and go to the party for a bit. But then mysteriously leave, breaking routine: no hug for you. But I sure enjoyed myself. Big grin, wave from across the room, and deuces (goodbye).