Withdrawal, The Worst Stage Yet?

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DnJ et al, thank you again for checking into my thread. It is so important to me to see people checking in on me right now. Your words mean a lot, a lot!

I am so emotionally exhausted from the abuse investigation and everything else that I can't even summon the strength to write out what is happening but I had my usual confusion about how to not engage so I will post the latest exchange. I know that what I wrote back was too long and too engaging, so what I am wondering is how you all would revise what I wrote back so I can try to get clearer on how not to engage. I feel like there is a tiny shred of what my H says that is indicating he wants to actually fix finances in order to make his way back someday. I know his ideas are nuts but a part of me wanted to show that I was willing to attend a meeting he arranged, out of respect for him as a man, even though I think the whole thing is bunk and have no intention of agreeing to any debt consolidation schemes. So that is why I didn't feel I could just not answer. I get so tied in knots that I feel like I can't sit through my discomfort and then I am afraid to see him in the house if I haven't answered. I suppose I could just force myself to not answer except for the side of me that wants to show respect where I can. I know it would be much easier to navigate this stuff if he moved out; but that is not where God placed me for now, and I am not going to do anything to enable separation.

The part about my dad is because i called my father in a panic and asked him to ask H to leave me alone for a couple weeks.

Anyone who wants to take an editing pen to what I wrote and tell me how it would have looked if more detached, I would love to hear it. I have gone as dark as possible as far as not initiating any conversations via e-mail, text, in-person, I totally do my own thing, and most of the time I don't know where he is or what he is doing, but then he won't be silent on his end when he gets it into his head to start up or be around. I don't answer at least half of his e-mails.

Also he was right that I turned my face to look out the window at that moment during the meeting that he mentions. He is over 50 but was wearing a cropped t-shirt that showed his navel and had that MLC cool-guy weirdness vibe and was saying some very stupid things during an abuse visit that was only about me abusing my S, so I did turn to look out the window to get my face in order. But I fibbed about that below because in general I try to deflect the endless narcissism and blame.

He borrowed $80 from me last week and never gave it back. He even took money out of my daughter's wallet a few months ago and never gave it back; she was hysterically crying that someone stole her money til I figured it out. It was a low point for him but it did nothing to motivate him to start working. She kept asking him for the money, it was awful, so finally I gave her the money and told her to not ask him for it anymore, but only give it back to me if he ever did give it to her. These are tiny examples of the MLC money insanity as an intro to this note below, since it might sound like he has a reasonable idea about finances. His idea is basically to continue to earn nothing and contribute nothing but to somehow restructure what we earn on rentals so he can take more for himself. I am assuming the finance guy will quickly see how impossible that is, how deeply in debt we are, and how I am the only one contributing beyond the rentals, so if i can summon the courage, I would go to the meeting. I wish one of you could go with me!