I'm not the most spiritually developed person so to speak. I was really talking more about abstractly about God's plan/hand in this without appreciating free will we each have. I'd said my struggle is more on the WHY this happened (did God let this happen) than on the control/change of her.
Quite right, why does he let marriages that are supposedly ordained by him crumble, why does he ignore prayers begging for his healing, for that matter why do innocent children die of cancer. I used to be very religious but BD made me do some serious soul-searching in every aspect of my life including this one. I don't buy the "free will" claim, rather I think we completely misunderstand who (or what) "God" is. He's not the white-bearded Santa sitting up there meting out miracles to those who ask. He's not some angry, vengeful bully burning people for "sinning". He (or she or it or them) is beyond our understanding and feels it's not necessary to intervene in our lives. My point isn't to push anyone away from their chosen religion or spirituality, it is to drive home the fact that WE HAVE TO DO THE WORK. No one is going to save us from this. We've got to suffer, we've got to persevere, and we must rise above this. And while we have support (especially here), we really have to do the hard work ourselves. I think some people try to pray their way out of things and that just doesn't work. Absolutely pray if it brings you some piece of mind, but don't use it as a substitute for the hard work you need to do.
And Ballast I'm not addressing you specifically, that's more of an open message
While I don't agree in totality, well said, and I agree with more of this than you think. I never pray for God to make my W love me more, or want the MR more, or to fix my marriage. I do pray for the strength, wisdom and understanding to do the work you mention! And to be at peace with whatever the outcomes ends up being.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
