You seem big on calling her out. Do you really think that will help you accomplish your goals? I'd avoid anything that you'd refer to as "calling her out".

Go back and read the detachment and validation threads. You need to listen. Acknowledge. Validate her feelings. But do not react or respond.

The bed thing was a tough one. I would have just defended myself (blocking her hands, or the hitting or kicking) until she got tired of it. If she moves on to more physical things, well you may need to threaten to call the police. Obviously you do not want to return in kind. Likely she was trying to provoke you to get you removed from the house because of domestic abuse. Do not take the bait.

M(53), W(54),D(19)
M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
Ring and Piecing since March 2018