Moving past the WAW-MCL to a stronger me

[Davide]

She clearly couched her annoyance and complaint within compliments and we'll wishes.

I feel like this is just a final sign of how dead our R is and how there is 0 percent chance of R.

Oh. Well. Maybe this will let me detach more. I never expected this level of avoidance.

She is missing out on a pretty great guy.

[LoneWlf]

Davide, I can understand how hurt you are right now. Please don't lose focus. Keep being the best you can be. Stay Well!!

[ovrrnbw]

Wow! Right now I feel like I have been sicker punched in the gut. I am at the gym at a special training class. I never texted W to say I was going, figuring what the hell.

So 20 minutes ago I get 2 texts from her. 1st telling me thanks for taking care of the dog on Sunday. Then saying she hoped I did not get to wet (due to the rain). She said she saw my bike at the gym when she pulled up so she left. She also said she would like to go to the gymost on wed. And Thursday and to let her know if I will be there.

That hurts. She turned around and left rather than share a public space with over 100 people there. I feel pretty damn low right now. If I ran into her randomly anywhere I would not pull crap like that. I wouldbefriendly, say hello, and move on. How much resentment can she possibly have??

I have not responded in part because I do not want to lash out with anger. I feel like saying I will go the gym whenever idamn please

Quit telling her when, where, what you're doing. You'd be better off texting her that you'll do what you want than texting her sweet nothings like you're MR is all peachy.

Don't get down over your situation, get strong. Good luck man.

[Davide]

I haven't told her crap.

I give her a heads-up when I am coming by the house to get the dog or the car, but that's it.

I do not want to respond with anger. I do not want to be reactive. I am still considering what the best detached reaction would be.

[TBSakaJ9]

Sometimes it's hard to believe how far gone they really are. My turning point was when I heard my EW talking about other men.

I would go to the gym whenever you want and I would not tell her when you are going to be there. I would also not say anything about her turning around and leaving you in the rain. I wouldn't want her to know it bothered me. Make a mental note to yourself and keep moving forward.

Just my thoughts.

[Davide]

Yeah. I dunno what it means exactly, and dont want to try to mindread. I will leave that to Vanilla and the other WAWs. For me it is a cheeseless tunnel.

I definitely wont tell her that it bothered me. Not by a long shot. Just to clarify, she didnt leave me in the rain. I went to the gym on my own without telling her - she drove over to workout, saw my bike there, and left on her own accord. There were no plans to meet. It was just pure avoidance on her part, not breaking a plan or leaving me high and dry. I did my thing and left, just carried on like normal.

[Davide]

Hey V,Maika, or any other wise heads, any recommendations on how to handle this? I am actually in a good place today. Do I just ignore the request or respond and let her know that I will be living my own life and not reporting to her...

[Vanilla]

Sometimes it's hard to believe how far gone they really are. My turning point was when I heard my EW talking about other men.

I would go to the gym whenever you want and I would not tell her when you are going to be there. I would also not say anything about her turning around and leaving you in the rain. I wouldn't want her to know it bothered me. Make a mental note to yourself and keep moving forward.

Just my thoughts.

Agreed

Say nothing, just do what you want to do. She is a grown up.

I think it's to let you know she is looking after herself by going to the gym.

This is one text that doesn't need a response.

If she persists just text back 'OK. We can cope with being at the gym I am sure. Enjoy your next session'

V

[AnotherStander]

Hey V,Maika, or any other wise heads, any recommendations on how to handle this? I am actually in a good place today. Do I just ignore the request or respond and let her know that I will be living my own life and not reporting to her...

First, why are you surprised that she left? Are you under the impression that she likes being in the same room with you? Because if you are then you haven't been paying attention to Sandi's posts!

Second, did you decide to go to this gym because she is there? Because that is pursuit, and a little stalkerish.

Third, just tell her whatever your workout routine is and let her deal with whether she wants to go then or not.

[Davide]

Stander, I think you crossed the line from 2x4 to openly hostile.

We both belong to the same climbing gym. I went to the gym at that particular time because it was a special class that was only offered then. I go there a lot. So does she. I didn't do it to see her. I have not tried to see her once since I left the house 6 weeks ago except for the one meeting we arranged to work out summer arrangements. I was surprised she left because she has never actively tried to avoid me like that before and she specifically told me that it would be no big deal if we ran into each other at the gym in an email weeks ago. I don't know if you just aren't reading my sitch, but to characterize my actions as stalkerish is offensive.

I do not see the need to update her on my workout routine. It changes, like it did in this case. In the past I have actively tried to avoid her, but at this point I would rather just do what works best for my schedule. I am not looking to run into her, but I have adjusted my life enough (moving out of the house, giving up the car) due to her issues.