Affair, no feelings...is there hope? IV

[44tries]

Artista, your advice is really helpful and I love when you give input. You are right I gave her far too much credit.

Sandi, I want to ask you about the pitiful remark you touched on in your last post. I get very frustrated with myself because I don't know why it is so hard for me to identify things like that before they come out of my mouth. I know I have had NGS for a very long time and I can't instantly fix it, but the hardest part is when I don't even see it and have to wait for the 2x4 from you guys here. So, using that instance as an example, how can I better address when my W decides she can ignore me? Or should that just be something I let go? I don't want to tolerate the disrespect, but I understand calling her out or just saying she is being rude isn't "enforceable" and just makes me look weak.

Emotionally, my detachment is getting better. I definitely had a setback with the whole confrontation and her coming home situation. Sort of felt like I took my eyes off the road. But I'm back on track. Now I am just readjusting to having to navigate all the daily interaction. We spent a lot of time together over the holiday weekend; I did a few GAL things on my own but there were also a lot of events happening with mutual friends.

I also struggle with things that aren't out of the house. For instance, since most of my friends are far away, I like to hop on and play online games with them. But I have some weird guilt about playing video games when my W is around. I've never been a big gamer or anything, but I would go months without playing at all since getting married. Now, I don't think I should feel bad at all if it's something I want to do in my down time, but I worry about it feeding my W's thoughts that I am not productive/responsible.

Her entitlement is still through the roof, but I have been standing up to her and she is catching on. If she asks me for something and I give her the look, she might say "nevermind, it's okay" or she will try to add "please". I guess it's a start that she is acknowledging the dynamic, but when is she going to stop asking in the first place? I think she still fully subscribes to the idea that she can ask/expect all kinds of things from me because she works (yes, I have told her I am not an employee just because she brings home the paycheck).