I think people of all socioeconomic backgrounds cheat, lie, betray, get addicted to drugs and alcohol. I dont agree that hardship keeps them in check. Lets not romantacize the working class. That argument in itself sounds a bit classist.
I also dont blame society. I think ending marriage or committing acts that end marriages (cheating) is an individual decision. Its a choice each individual makes. And to blame it on society, absolves them of responsibility.
I grew up in the same society. Watched the same crappy reality tv shows. Have aquaintances that have made awful choices regarding betrayal of spouse/dissolving of a marriage.
I was very unhappy in my marriage. Looking back, i had more of a reason to cheat or leave then my aquaintances ever did...my son and i were ignored, my ex could physically not perform. He couldnt give me a 2nd child. He couldn't provide. He did not give me companionship. He could not give me financial stability (despite higher education and a 6 figure income?) He was living a secret double life for years.
I was loyal, because thats who i am at the core. Im not religious, wasnt raised with any moral upbringing. Its who i am. Who my parents are.
I dont even know if its necessarily a good thing.
Perhaps people that are less loyal, more self serving do better in life. Get higher up on that food chain. Procreate more. Evolved to be that way by some gene that sets them up to move up in this world. To have easier lives cause they have no sense of responsibility for others.
Now does society nurture this?
Yes. These forums were all about absolving individual responsibility of our waywards. So maybe you have a point. But i dont think society makes us like that.
Do you think society should play more of a role incorporating punishment to those that dont stand by marriage? Would that work? Or would it just get swept up under the rug?
Do you support presidents like clinton and Trump who blatantly dismiss marriage? I believe jordan Peterson said he suppprted trump? Is that hypocritical and where is your stance on the hypocritical? Do you sweep it under the rug because you suppport their bigger ideologies?
On a side note...God. I wish my level of committment did not exist!!! Had i been capable of leaving earlier, Had i been more self serving i would have been younger and had more options post a divorce.
But my point is that, i believe committment is something ingrained in the individual. Marriage works only when you get 2 people that are responsible/honest types together. Thats why 50 percent of marriages fail..cause there are a lot of individuals out there that are just dishonest or are self serving.
Changing the topic
Regarding you post divorce...I dont think any one is saying its right or wrong to be a lone ranger. I understand where its easier to go it alone. Relationships bring out emotions which are not stable nor are they predictable. They bring out vulnerablity. They are risky investments of time, and money, and emotions of nott just you but your kids as well. So if that doesnt benefit you in any way, why pursue one?
Also, an individual matter. Some people benefit..they like companionship (or whatever else a relationsjip brings to them . For others, the benefits of said companionship/monogamy does not not outweigh the risks.
Personally, i think my strategy was to find someone that was less risk. But that was also my strategy with ex. So i dont not see your point. Maybe i have more to gain from the risk then you? I dont know. Just rambling now:)