Hi JLH,
Originally Posted By: ruhappy
Personally if he reaches out to you listen and use the validation cheat sheet. Do not check ask or call him.

I agree with this, from whatever I have read here and the DB /DR books, validation seems to be the key. I am still working on it for my own sitch, the validation cheat sheet seems to have a lot of options, I have picked a few of items that go well with my style of speaking and try using those when H wants to talk at all.
Quote:

When you truly love someone you want them to be healthy and happy with or without you so no matter what happens be cordial take the high road and take care of working on you.

That is so well put ruhappy, all of us LBSs want to hold on to the MR because that is the happiness we have known so long. I hope I can reach the frame of mind to see it this way, be happy and let be happy.
Good luck jlh, you seem to be doing well, and yes it is the worst, most painful, torturous unhappiness ever.