Jase, if you are leaning on church, some aspects of your stand can be much clearer -- make sure to visit the rejoice ministry site. you can get a daily e-mail from them to keep you going, and you can sign up for the weekly men's devotional that will be more specific to your situation. They have lots of things you can listen to when you are doing the dishes and fighting the urge to crawl into a hole. I would never have made it through (well, not through, I am still deep in this tunnel o' fun) MLC without Rejoice.
My suggestion is also not to set up what you think you can and can't do -- e.g, you suggested you aren't the type to wait too long. You don't know what type you are yet in this. I never thought I would be the type to wait either, but I let this experience (and learning to trust God, mainly) change me into someone much better than I was before. It was only possible through this impossible wait.
I believe I will see the bounty of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord with courage. Be stouthearted, and wait for the Lord.
