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Davide Offline OP
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I could do whatever I want but almost all of my GALing friends will be at the party. Also, I would never ignore her. I am not down for rudeness. I would say hi, give a quick hug and head to hang with other people far from her. Still worried that it looks pusuit-ish.


W 34 Me 42
Married 7 years together 8
0 kids 1 beloved dog
BD 4/6/2018
I moved out 4/7/2018
I moved back in alone 8/05/2018
I file 3/06/2019
D official 5/7/2019
Joined: May 2018
Posts: 953
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Davide Offline OP
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My W has not asked me a thing about the trip since we last met in person 3 weeks ago. She knows I am going and some camping and car supplies are arriving ar our house and she is watching them for me.

She has never mentioned D. I did when we met but in this state we have to be separated by 12 months. She did say she did not want to be married. That was bad rnough. Like I said earlier when I talked about selling the house she broke down in tears and told me she was not ready to talk about that yet. I will try to refrain from mind reading there.

It seems like you have a lot more contact. I go days at a time without any and the little there is is about the dog or Amazon deliveries. Nothing substantive and I am not pushing.


W 34 Me 42
Married 7 years together 8
0 kids 1 beloved dog
BD 4/6/2018
I moved out 4/7/2018
I moved back in alone 8/05/2018
I file 3/06/2019
D official 5/7/2019
Joined: May 2018
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Originally Posted By: Davide
I could do whatever I want but almost all of my GALing friends will be at the party. Also, I would never ignore her. I am not down for rudeness. I would say hi, give a quick hug and head to hang with other people far from her. Still worried that it looks pusuit-ish.


You're not ignoring her, you just have things to do IMO. If she needs, something she is capable of asking, right? Why the hug? I think her getting affection from you without living up to her commitment is a problem for you.

Quote:
It seems like you have a lot more contact. I go days at a time without any and the little there is is about the dog or Amazon deliveries. Nothing substantive and I am not pushing.


I do have more contact it seems. Not that it's made any difference yet. But did you move back in, or not planning on that until Aug? I couldn't figure that out from your sig.


H 34
W 29
BD 3/12/18
Divorce Busted Spring 19

It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
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Yeah I am having more contact but my W is also trying to fast track a D
I would trade places with you in a heartbeat
Patience Davide time is your friend


M 40 W 34
Together 7 Married 2
No Kids
BD 1/18 need space
Moved out 2/18
ILYBNILWY & Asked for D 3/18
W filed for D 6/18
D final 10/18
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Davide Offline OP
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I am heading out on a two month road trip once school let's out. When I get back I am moving to the house.

Dunno. I hug all my friends. Not doing it seems more unnatural.


W 34 Me 42
Married 7 years together 8
0 kids 1 beloved dog
BD 4/6/2018
I moved out 4/7/2018
I moved back in alone 8/05/2018
I file 3/06/2019
D official 5/7/2019
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 8,855
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Originally Posted By: ovrrnbw
Davide, I don't know if you should be actively avoiding her. If you're the strong, attractive guy you know you are, there is no reason to avoid her. You're just living your life. Let her see that you are capable of that. Let her see that you can be a happy person.

For the party, could you just show up, say hello to a couple friends and bounce out of there to your GAL? Ignore WW.


I like this response very much

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


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Davide Offline OP
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Really, ignoring her? What about detached friendliness?


W 34 Me 42
Married 7 years together 8
0 kids 1 beloved dog
BD 4/6/2018
I moved out 4/7/2018
I moved back in alone 8/05/2018
I file 3/06/2019
D official 5/7/2019
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 4,560
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I would add only to do it if you can emotionally handle it. I went to a party early on in my sitch, about a month after my EW moved out, that my W was at. She ignored me the entire time, sat with all of her girlfriends making pouty faces and taking selfies, acted like she was about 25 years old. I ended up staying for too long and I should have immediately left but I didn't recognize the situation and what I had got myself into until the next morning. When I overheard her and her friends talking about other guys I froze. The next morning I felt weak and a complete Beta.


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
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Originally Posted By: Davide
Really, ignoring her? What about detached friendliness?


Just wave from across the room if your eyes happen to meet, if not, oh well. And have a big ole smile.


H 34
W 29
BD 3/12/18
Divorce Busted Spring 19

It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
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Davide Offline OP
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Wow! Right now I feel like I have been sicker punched in the gut. I am at the gym at a special training class. I never texted W to say I was going, figuring what the hell.

So 20 minutes ago I get 2 texts from her. 1st telling me thanks for taking care of the dog on Sunday. Then saying she hoped I did not get to wet (due to the rain). She said she saw my bike at the gym when she pulled up so she left. She also said she would like to go to the gymost on wed. And Thursday and to let her know if I will be there.

That hurts. She turned around and left rather than share a public space with over 100 people there. I feel pretty damn low right now. If I ran into her randomly anywhere I would not pull crap like that. I wouldbefriendly, say hello, and move on. How much resentment can she possibly have??

I have not responded in part because I do not want to lash out with anger. I feel like saying I will go the gym whenever idamn please


W 34 Me 42
Married 7 years together 8
0 kids 1 beloved dog
BD 4/6/2018
I moved out 4/7/2018
I moved back in alone 8/05/2018
I file 3/06/2019
D official 5/7/2019
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