I see absolutely no harm in telling her about the major things you have learned on your journey if she asks. Not R talk but the things which are about you. Factual.

For instance:
WAW I have found the spirit of adventure and I am trying lots of new things which have really brightened my mood. You know I have learned to validate and that has really helped me deal with some tough stuff at work, I am really pleased about that.

And yes modified or reduced contact isn't no contact. No contact is complete deathly silence with blocking on all counts. No calls, emails or texts. So I do not recommend NC I your sitch, but that's not what you are doing. So if I were you then I would recommend using a term other than NC. As it has that specific meaning.

In your case I might have soft modified contact. Try smiling on the phone and lowering the timbre and speed of your voice. It is called pacing and it will help you calm your anxiety and WAWS. Again only for your type of sitch, not for a wayward where it will anger them.

Again being friendly does not mean being friends! There is a difference, if you think of a circle of all the people you know with you in the middle, WAW is no longer inner circle, mum dad sis, bestie, wingman 1. No longer second teir, favourite cousin, partner at work, gym companion and coach. She falls in their 3, kindly next door neighbour, friendly regular hairdresser, walking bud. People you like, are kind to, would give a lift in the rain or put out their rubbish if they broke their leg. Maybe you wouldn't feed their cat for 6 weeks but you step in to help if they break their leg. You are kind and friendly but not overly so, unless they ask and show concern for you. That's day to day.

If WAW approaches, you don't chase or run away (pursuit dynamic), you stand and answer in a friendly open positive way and then close it down. You have nothing to hide in this. WAW isn't going to use this in a contentious D as far as I can see.

Let us evaluate: What would I want to see before I even think about being friendly if I were WAW:

That Davide:

1. Isn't judging me or trying to control
2. Is toleranthere to who I want to be and how I choose
3. Will let me have my life and has reasonable boundaries
4. Isn't part of repeating the old life that triggered depression in me and anxiety in him
5. Has his ducks in a row, resolved his stuff, has his life

What do you think?

V

Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW