Yes, only when she brings it up. You do not want to be initiating any MR related discussions. When she does validate her feelings, but be very careful giving too much information. You want her interested and curious. That is your play here, to get her interested (through attractiveness) and curious (through mystery).
The sexual assault is HUGE and really explains a lot of her behavior. I would highly suggest that if and when the time comes where is ready to come back to the MR you make IC and MC a stipulation. Otherwise you could end up right back where you are in short order.
How do you think the assault plays into things?
Just remembered a gem from last night, WW says "even if you would have changed a year ago, it wouldn't have mattered". We haven't even been married 2 years crazy lady!
She also says that she knows how I feel in regards to my pain over her affair, because of what I did to her. This is just her way to justify and minimize her actions.
Because unresolved sexual assault leave a lot of hang ups about relationships and sex. Until she fully deals with that she will likely NEVER have a healthy relationship with anybody.
On the gem, ignore it. They all say garbage like that. "Even if your changes are real, I still want out." All you can do is change from this point forward, the past is the past. However, due to her unresolved feelings on the SA she might hang on to the past. Those that have been through things like that and haven't dealt properly with it will often have a hard time of letting go of the past misdeeds of others.
Again forget what she says. She will say whatever suits here at the moment. If verbally acknowledging your pain gives her some perceived advantage at the moment then she will probably do it. WWs in particular, and WAWs in general don't really care about your pain. In order to get to BD they've already reconciled in their mind that they have to hurt you. Hurting you is so far from their concern, no matter what they say, that you shouldn't even think about whether she knows you are hurting. She doesn't care. If she did then she wouldn't have slept with someone else and she wouldn't have crushed your soul on BD.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
