Looking at the end game - casting him free to dance with the fairies while protecting you and the boys as much as possible is probably your goal.
It's easy to get caught up in the minutia but in an adversarial legal environment that can add time and money. A phrase I used during negotiations with my ex was that I didn't want to waste time "searching for nickels in the couch cushions". We ended up agreeing to broad strokes like for example that the value of the property she took was equivalent to what was left behind.
In researching elsewhere one message I heard fairly clearly was that when negotiating with a disordered / selfish person that having them feel that they are "winning" and that they are "getting away with it" can be effective. It does mean that you have to walk away from the table knowing that you've left things behind that perhaps you could have fought harder for.
My suggestion is to decide what is truly important to you based on easily agreed facts. Let him dash off with his hidden bank accounts and the family silver if that's what it takes to get things done smoothly.
I've read too many occasions of where things get dragged out and adversarial and the only people who end out ahead are the lawyers.
In my case I short-circuited a lot of the disclosure - fully disclosing on my side and not really paying much attention to her's (she didn't have hidden accounts of any amount I'm sure). We agreed to a value on the house based on a third party opinion of value. The final deal was that she would get 3/4 of the equity from the house and a modest spousal support payment for several years. I got to keep my pensions and what material goods were remaining after her several shopping trips. All other items were deemed to have been dealt with and were not even mentioned in the agreement other than that the agreement was comprehensive and covered all possible items.
The paintings she took I've mostly replaced with some nicer originals painted by amateurs that I found at various local art events. We had far far too much furniture and so I don't really miss most of it. A real couch would be nice perhaps. Her jewelry doesn't match many of my outfits. The piles of "stuff" that had been accumulating dust around the house that she took along with the unused exercise equipment I don't miss.
Just my 2 cents.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
