dmoy, not to burst your bubble, but it was likely guilt over the hurtful words that caused her to fix your shirt. Most WAWs will try to continue to be "nice" until the D is final. I am seeing more and more WAW behavior where they want the D to be as smooth as possible, and will bend over backwards to grease the runway to get the D through as painlessly as possible.
Remember, WAWs are trying to be happy. That is their ultimate goal. Dwelling on D proceedings/filings/briefs/court appearances aren't what makes them happy.
When my neice left her husband for another guy, she was trying to be as nice as possible until she got the final D decree. Once she did she was as happy as a lark to move on with the new guy.
Believe nothing she says (even her hurtful words) and only 1/2 of what she does (fixing your shirt this morning).
Entirely possible. Trying not to read too much into it.
But what's the play? If they want to be happy and appease just to get D finalized it seems like there's nothing that can really be done. Sometimes DB really seems a lot like a wing and a prayer.
Detach, fix yourself, and hope that W sees the change and decides to change course. But from the sounds of it, most of the time this doesn't happen and maybe it's more dumb luck. In the end you come through with change to yourself but that's like getting a consolation prize, tbh. "You're now single again and your kids will grow up in a broken home, but at least you feel better about yourself!"
Not trying to be negative, just realistic. Life isn't all unicorns and rainbows.
So you are looking to do something that will GUARANTEE your W stays with you? Good luck.
What DBing does is increase the chance that she will reverse course and come back to the MR. But yes you are right, it is just hope, there is no guarantee. I don't know what the percentage but I can tell you that the percentage of LBSs that move to R through pursuit, pressure, and the like is minuscule. Probably in the single digits at best.
DBing, done right, increases the odds your WAS will come around. But even that is just a chance, not a guarantee. The only thing guaranteed in this life are death and taxes. Not necessarily in that order.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
