I haven't seen Benito kicking around here in a while, but hopefully he sees this and comes back to give you his perspective.
If I remember correctly, he was virtually NC for months. And then when he met his W to discuss D options, things started to change slowly as she saw Benito in a new light through all the changes he had made.
I think the big differences is that he took up the opportunities to hang out with her when she initiated, even when it was to talk about D. Which then led to them casually hanging out at times, which he treated like hang-outs with no expectations and with detachment. He wasn't hanging out to get her back, but just spending time with her and then continuing about his life as if she was never coming back. That mental shift is huge IMHO and it shows very clearly if you're trying to fake it. But, that's why the space and time is important because you need to come to an authentic grounding to be able to do that.
I hope he comes back with an update and more insights for your sitch Davide.
