Moving past the WAW-MCL to a stronger me

[Vanilla]

Regarding anxiety versus depression I am not sure. I am still anxious now but the fog has lifted. I felt completely without purpose or drive for a while there. I was wallowing in some heavy self pity as well.

That's normal I Think! Join the LBS Club.

I think the codependency was in large part situational although I have caretaker tendencies as an educator.

chicken and egg really. Are you attracted to that work because of your tendencies? Or has this brought it out? Just something to ponder really.

I will look into the CB.

Do you still think she is WAW?

Yes


She definitely is not crazy,but I think she is still focused ver much on herself.

Being self centred or even selfish isn't MLC or wayward. It's being selfish and self centred. Maybe this is what is needed for her to resolve her issues.

When I say NC I mean that I am not initiating contact in order to break the pursuit/distance dynamic that I felt very strongly.

That is not NC but RC (reduced contact). You can use the pursuit dynamic to advantage.


She told me that she needed time and space.

I believe her.

At first that meant we would communicate via text every couple of days but since I started DBing o have not initiated except for once to set up the call about logistics.

if this is working carry on. If not why not?

I am afraid that any contact I initiate might be seen as pursuit. Basically I do not trust my instincts as this whole process runs counter to what my body is screaming for me to do.

I know, it does but it really helps.

NC has certainly helped me detach and grow stronger.


But I am open to other paths that can grow the R. How do you do that without being perceived as pursuing?

At this stage your R is non existent. You have a potential R as a friendly neighbour. Again with a walkaway the picnic at the lighthouse is excellent.

V