MY TRAGIC WAW STORY PART VIII

[SteveLW]

IH, I agree 100% with everything you just said. It is confusing. And I think it is because she is confused. Women are much more guided by their feelings, and likely her feelings are conflicted. Let me go back to compare it to my ex-GF that was so hot and cold it was confusing:

There were times when I would go dark on her. I'd not call or contact her for weeks, even months. Finally she would contact me and she would start asking "why are haven't you called me?" I'd here things like "I miss you so much!" "You are like a drug and I am going through withdrawals!" There were even times she would hint that she wanted some physicality.

So we would set up a meeting. As soon as we got together her feelings would change. Maybe just knowing she could call and set something up was enough. Or maybe I didn't look as good as she had conjured up in her memory. Or maybe it was because she was seeing someone else and her morals kicked in. I have no idea why her feelings would change, but she would retreat.

I remember one time she called me in the fall, and she was all over me talking about how she missed me, and how she was going to break up with her BF and wanted to be with me. And she still thinks about how we kissed all the time and wanted that again. 2 hour local toll (very expensive) call. I didn't hear back from her for 2 weeks. When she called back 2 weeks later it was very formal. I asked her if she broke up with her BF and she said "no, I decided to try to make it work with him." She just acted like the previous call never happened. I told myself I would never fall for that again.

The next fall, on cue, another call just like the first one. This time I wasn't biting. I pretty much ignored every thing she said related to all of the sentimental stuff. Finally she said "I want to come visit you tonight." I said: "Well I have a bunch of errands to run." She said "well call me later, so I know what time to come over." I rolled my eyes, said ok and hung up. I never called her back.

Years later she mentioned that day, and she said: "You never called me back. After we hung up I shaved my legs and everything." The implication was clear, she wanted to come over and, uh, you know.

Here is the thing, I guarantee you, no matter her intentions, if she had come to my apartment that night her feelings would have changed after getting there and it would have been arms length between us all night.

I don't know why some women play that game. But it is terrible to be on the receiving end of it. Let me ask you this, after you talk to her or hang out with her, do you ever feel worse than before you talked or hung out with her? After I would go a while without seeing or talking to her, I thought I wanted to see or talk to her. But afterward I'd always feel bad, like I wish I hadn't see or talked to her.

If you feel that way afterward that could be a bad sign, in my estimation.