Thank you for the replies, so appreciate the support and advice. I'm sorry I ranted a bit yesterday... From what I've read all the folks here are so well meaning and incredibly insightful I sincerely value the time you've taken to respond...
Yeah you're so right, the laisez faire anything goes approach to life that he now has.... fits in well with the ILYBNILWY mantra. my sister was saying the very same thing..
Thank you Maika for the advice. You make a really good point re grief. I do see a IC from time to time, taken a break from it now. Found the counsel bit draining just focused on the negative.
The MC we went to was a disaster - we both didn't have separation or divorce in ind when we first went or at least I didn't have she gave us a piece of paper on our second visit saying we had 4 options - 1. Let things stay as they were 2. Reconcile 3. Seperate 4. Divorce
I found it so overwhelming to have to suddenly choose 1 to work on...My h said seperate sounds best and that's where we are now. Living together but separate
A lot of MCs are in the business of divorce management. I sought out a pro-marriage MC in case W wanted to pursue this option right after BD - she didn't take me up on it.
But to be presented those options is just more pressure for the other person to make a choice. That is a terrible tactic from an MC because last thing you want is to add pressure to the situation.
Also, MC is useless if both parties are invested in saving the MR. If not, it is basically one thing that the WW/WH can say that they tried it and it didn't work and so they are justified in their decision. It's a terrible set up.
Hi Maika Thanks for that, it was a shocking MC session indeed. So important to find out if MC is pro-marriage...anyway I guess that's a whole nother can of worms. "You don't know what you don't know.." I had no idea we would be presented with a list of choices to make... we were simply trying to figure out how we could get through the rough patch.I guess my h was actually pleased she raised the topic of separation though ...if she didn't he would have at some point...we're still together but not really as a married couple. Quite a confusing place really...
