MY TRAGIC WAW STORY PART VIII

[ItHurts]

Hey guys,
Well here's the update from hanging out with WAW last night.
Everything went well and as planned. We made the fire, had many laughs, reminisced, etc and got really drunk.

We stayed up very late. A few items of interest happened. When we were sitting outside in the front step, she would every so often put her head on my shoulder I noticed overall that she acted like my "wife" at certain times. As far as what she calls me now, my full name is apparently the norm again as that's all she used all night long. For those not in the know my WAW stopped calling me by my pet name back in 2014. She now exclusively uses my pet name...which is my full name.

She got sick later in the night so I helped her out. She was holding my hand when she was sick. Then she said I should stay over. So we sat down to watch T.V. and she stretched her legs across me...prefacing it with a disclaimer of course saying she wants to stretch because she was tired from moving around bags of mulch in her garden all day. I responded with "Oh boy, I've seen this movie before" in reference to her legs being on me. You see, back when we first met she put her legs across me the same way and it was always a talking point throughout our marriage. So that's why I replied with that remark.

So I massaged her feet for her and we both passed out on the couch. We were very drunk as I said.

Some hours later she woke me up and told me to stretch out and she went to her bed which is like 5 feet away. We both passed out again...still very drunk.

Then this morning we were both hungover badly. I went pee and was going back to sleep on the couch, feeling like garbage, and she called out from her bed and said "I'm not calling you in here for sex or anything but you can come lay in here with me." So I did, kind of laughing to myself at what she said. She seemed to like the fact I was laying in her bed next to her.

Later, when we felt better her Mom stopped by for a quick visit so I got to see my ex-MIL for a bit. After she left WAW said something like, "Man she must be wondering WTF is going on!" So I stayed a couple hours longer and she mentioned how she wants to plan a trip to Vegas. She said I don't know who I would go with. I said I would go. She seemed excited and started looking for a list of things she wants to do in Vegas to show me.

During the course of the night we talked about our former sex life a bit, our marriage of course and we talked about what we did wrong, etc but the latter certainly didn't monopolize our visit in any way. She is keeping the guise of friendship still it appears but my gut makes me sense there's A LOT more things going on in her head regarding me than simply being my pal. Just a gut feeling that she is thinking more than she's letting on in some capacity.

She said something the night before by the fire at one point about next time I come over. I can't remember exactly how that transitioned into this but I told her as fun as it is to hang out; that we probably wouldn't be able to do this if we're in some way involved with someone else. She basically agreed but made it clear that she is taking a break from dating anyway.

So this morning we're out sitting on the front step again and she again lays her head on my shoulder. I didn't make a big deal of it in any way though. She casually touched me throughout my time there.

Then the last hour I was there she went back to looking for the Vegas list she was looking for an hour before. Strangely as she was looking for it she said "I'd love to invite you but I don't think that's a good idea." I was nonchalant about it and just said that's fine. Then she found the list and showed it to me. After that she then looked at me, almost for approval, and said " Yeah if you went with me it would be weird I'd by then you were with somebody or I was." I nonchalantly just kind of blew it off mainly because I don't really care if she invites me or not, the trip would be a ways off from now anyway.

She mentioned also that Jim, that dude she hangs with on Fridays, called to see if she wanted to hang last night too. wAW said no way. One night a week of Jim is enough. He's kind of a downer and has a lot of problems. I love him and he's a dear childhood friend but I can only take him in doses.

So it was interesting to say the least and I had a great time. She showed frequent affection, talked more about us working together again on a project perhaps, and at times acting as she did as my wife.
So I have to reflect on the last 24 hours and decipher what this latest experience means. My feeling is that she is not convinced she only wants friendship from me, but that for now it's working. Maybe I'm wrong but I think there's more going on in her head regarding me than she's letting on. That's my immediate feeling here looking back on the last 24 hours.