New Year, new thinking..

[Coly23]

AP, Own, Bttrfly, thank you all for the visit.

I had to have a couple of days away from the board as I could feel myself becoming irrational and getting my knickers in a bit of a twist!

AP, I hope you did not feel I was getting stroppy with you. I value your opinion always and I am so grateful for your support. I don't know, when you said you didn't believe in MLC it felt like someone telling my 6 year old self that Santa didn't exist!! That was a very irrational and immature response from me and I apologise. Hugs!

Own, I realised after I read your post that I might have been spinning a little. You are right in that sometimes I do feel like a passive hostage but I am trying really hard to change that. I know I need to stop worrying about everything I do or say to H because I know I can't influence him in any way. I guess the thought of him leaving to go to nothing has also bruised my ego somewhat! However, I keep thinking that maybe he has someone squirrelled away somewhere but if I was the OW I might be upset that I was being kept a secret for two years!!

Bttrfly, so great to hear from you! I do wonder what would have happened if I did just invite him over for a visit. I don't really understand any of it. D thinks he definitely thought I invited him over because I wanted to see him but what stops him from asking to see me? I think that's what is confusing me. Is he too proud or passive about the whole thing and how will I ever know?

Journaling: We went to my Mum's birthday BBQ today. Whilst I was there I got a text from H to say he would pop over today instead of Sunday as he was doing something in the afternoon and would have struggled to get everything done. He said he hoped I had a lovely time at the BBQ and asked me to wish my Mum a happy birthday from him. This is the first time in two years he has asked me to pass on his wishes for a family birthday. In the past he has just said he hoped they had a nice birthday. This was so much more personal. He is sounding more and more like old H.

I'm mind reading I know but I think he really did want to come on Sunday because last week I said I was happy for him to come over on Saturday while we were out if it was easier for him but he said he preferred to come on Sunday. It sounds like he was trying to fit it in but realised he didn't have enough time. I don't mind although when we came home we could see that he had been in the house because our hand held vacuum was on charge. He didn't need to enter the house at all really as he can access the garage from the front.

Had a fab time at the BBQ with the family and managed to get a lift from my older Sister's husband so I was able to have a few drinkies. It's a long weekend here so looking forward to sone down time.

Thank you all for listening to my rambles. I know a lot of what I said above does not mean much in the MLC world. It just means now that I don't need to contact H for a long the because he has taken 99% of everything that is his. Anything else that is left can be disposed of eventually. I feel like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders!

Happy weekend everyone!!